When Faith Doesn't Feel Like Faith

What Psalm 88 teaches us about praying in the dark

There is a psalm in your Bible that does not end well. No sunrise in the last verse. No "yet will I praise him." It just stops, in the dark.

It's Psalm 88, and I believe God put it there on purpose.

Who Was Heman?

The psalm is credited to Heman the Ezrahite. Heman was no spiritual lightweight. He was a Levite and one of the lead musicians in the temple worship David organized. First Chronicles 25:5 calls him "the king's seer." When the Bible wants to tell us how wise Solomon was, it says he was wiser than Heman (1 Kings 4:31). That was the measuring stick.

So this is a worship leader, a prophet, and a man known for wisdom. And this is the song he wrote.

Walking Through the Dark

Listen to how he starts: "My soul is full of troubles: and my life draweth nigh unto the grave" (v. 3).

Then it gets heavier. He says he feels like a dead man, like someone God has forgotten (v. 5). He says God has laid him "in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps" (v. 6). He feels the weight of God's wrath pressing on him (v. 7). His friends have pulled away and he feels shut in with no way out (v. 8).

In verse 13 he tells us he has been praying every morning. He is not a man who quit on God. He shows up. And in verse 14 he asks the question so many of us have asked: "Lord, why castest thou off my soul? why hidest thou thy face from me?"

Then the last line: "Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness" (v. 18). That's it. That's the end of the song.

The Psalm Never Turns, but It Is Addressed to God

Most laments in the Psalms have a turn. The writer pours out his pain and then, somewhere near the end, he remembers who God is and his voice lifts. Psalm 88 never does.

But look at the first line: "O Lord God of my salvation." Heman is in the dark, but he is talking to the God of his salvation. He doesn't feel saved. He says it anyway. He keeps bringing his pain to the only One who can do anything about it.

That is faith. Not the feeling of faith. The act of it.

Sometimes faith looks like shouting on a Sunday morning. Sometimes it looks like a tired man who shows up to pray one more morning when nothing has changed.

You Are Inside the Hymnbook

About a third of the Psalms are laments. A third. God gave his people a songbook, and a third of the songs are about pain, confusion, and unanswered prayer.

If you are walking through a season where God feels far away, hear me: you are not outside the faith. You are inside the hymnbook. God made room for you in his Word.

Jesus Prayed in the Dark Too

In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus said, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death" (Mark 14:34). On the cross he cried out the opening words of Psalm 22: "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

Our Savior knows what it is to pray from the pit. Hebrews tells us we have a high priest who is touched with the feeling of our weakness. He has been there. He does not shame you for being there.

Three Permissions from Psalm 88

1. You have permission to be honest with God. He already knows. Heman didn't clean his prayer up before he brought it, and God published it anyway.

2. You have permission to not have a tidy ending yet. Your story isn't over just because this chapter is dark. Psalm 88 isn't the last psalm. Your hard season isn't your last season.

3. You have permission to keep showing up. You don't have to feel strong to come to God. You just have to come. Keep praying. Keep coming to church. Keep sitting at the table with God's people, even when you don't feel like it.

A Pastoral Word

Sometimes the darkness is spiritual. Sometimes it is clinical depression, and that needs real care. Getting help from a doctor or a counselor is not a lack of faith. God works through people. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone. And if you are in Sheridan, our door is open. Talk to me or one of our leaders. You don't have to walk through this alone.

Heman's psalm ends in the dark. But Heman's God doesn't. The same Jesus who prayed in Gethsemane walked out of a tomb three days later. Morning is coming.

Pastor Josh

Join us Sundays at 10 a.m. at 501 S Main St in Sheridan. Plan your visit.